bacon
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Post by bacon on Oct 3, 2005 19:55:05 GMT -5
That is the question, isn't it? To start this little debate (hopefully we won't all agree), I would like to say that I was beaten, haven't been beaten lately, and I need to be. Some say that being whipped as a child scars them for life, and that corporal punishment is child abuse, which is quite simply not the case. (BTW, by 'beaten' I mean spanked) Will you whip your child? Or will you resort to other methods of punishment? I will use both as my parents have, and personally, people who I have seen that brag about not ever being spanked are either: A. Victims of Child Abuse B. Very Bratty Kids That's not meant to offend anyone. I'm sure there are people who have turned out great who haven't been spanked once, but this is just my experience. Discuss.
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Yogurt
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Post by Yogurt on Oct 3, 2005 20:31:43 GMT -5
I think you should do it. I mean, you don't want a little bratty kid running around would you? It teaches them not to do it again.
I've never been "beaten", but I've been spanked tons of times in the past. I think it's good for a growing child, and it teaches them to respect you and be a better kid.
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DDL
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Post by DDL on Oct 3, 2005 20:32:06 GMT -5
Hmm...you bring up some very interesting topics Bacon. I have been spanked (not recently) and I have also had other forms of corporal punishment. #19# I for one believe corporal punishment can be used effectively, within reason.
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bacon
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Post by bacon on Oct 3, 2005 20:36:39 GMT -5
And as I have said, corporal punishment and child abuse are two entirely different issues. Spanking a child out of love and compassion is much different than punching and kicking a child out of drunkenness. And Yog, when I said 'beaten' I did mean 'spanked'. Other forms of corporal punishment? What do you mean?
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Yogurt
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Post by Yogurt on Oct 3, 2005 20:45:31 GMT -5
I figured that, but I wasn't 100% percent sure.
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RaditzSoldier
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Post by RaditzSoldier on Oct 4, 2005 20:13:31 GMT -5
Dude, if the kid brakes your rules what do you do? Hand them a lollipop? No! You spank him! He doesn't do it again, common logic, no?
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Post by minyaliel on Oct 24, 2005 5:33:33 GMT -5
And as I have said, corporal punishment and child abuse are two entirely different issues. Spanking a child out of love and compassion is much different than punching and kicking a child out of drunkenness. You know many abusive people use the argument that they do it "because I love you"? I have never been beaten or abused in any way and I say that beating a child won't do you any good. Believe me. I have seen the concequenses (sp?). My brother (8 yrs younger) has a different father than me, and that man is very aggressive and violent. He has beaten him lots of times and been angry with him for no reason at all and this is a part of his "raising my son to be a man". The only thing he does, is to raise a kid who doubts himself, he does not believe he can do anything or means anything to anybody, he even refuses to believe me when I tell him that both me and my mother love him dearly, he is aggressive himself, sometimes even beating other children to get out his frustration which originated in how his father treats him. My mother's approach to this (they're divorced) is non- violent and very democratic and it works a lot better than his father's corporal punishment. Instead of punishing, why not give rewards for being good? This is what my mother did to me when I was little. If I was good, she'd take me to fun activities or buy me candies/ whatever out of a reward system she'd set up, if I was bad, one of my hard- earned stars would disappear out of the rewards form and I'd get grounded for the rest of the day. And it worked. Now, compared to what my brother's going through - what's the best system, eh? Focusing on the negative things you do and punish them, making the child loose his/ her self- confidence and get problems at school because he/ she doesn't believe that he/ she would ever be able to do that; or focusing on the positive, and give rewards for the good things they do, of course also having consequences when they are bad, and make them happy, confident kids who love themselves and behave because they know it will bring good to both themselves and the world around them? BTW; here in Norway, if you beat your child, even for reasons like this, it is classified as abuse and is illegal. If a parent hits a child or calls it bad names, this is a cause to call the police here. I think that is a great thing.
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bacon
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Post by bacon on Oct 24, 2005 9:40:10 GMT -5
But, see I was given corporal punishment as a small child, and I never did turn out self-doubting. It's different for every child. And I will never define corporal punishment as 'abuse' if it's used in the right way, as I said, out of love and compassion. I follow the saying, 'If you spare the rod, you spoil the child.' I've seen too many people raise kids that are mean, bratty, and don't give a crap out of anyone, and it's because they weren't given corporal punishment. As I said, it's different for everyone, some kids need it, and some don't, but I will never believe that it is abuse. Beating a kid to death, yes, that is, but corporal punishment quite simply isn't. And what's to say they can't get rewards with corporal punishment as the consequence? I always got candy or toys when I did something helpful as a kid. I think if you gradually take away spankings as the kid grows older, it helps. Not all people who use corporal punishment are child abusers. All IMO of course except for that last statement.
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Post by minyaliel on Oct 25, 2005 4:24:03 GMT -5
I have never believed violence to solve any problems, only make them worse. If we're going back to the stone age, where violence was necessary to keep the community stable, then I'll go be a cavedweller in Tibet.
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Post by Sword the Valiant on Oct 25, 2005 8:36:52 GMT -5
I agree with Min. My stepmom used to hit me before my dad kicked me out and it doesn't do any good.
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bacon
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Post by bacon on Oct 25, 2005 16:06:09 GMT -5
As I said, there's a fine line between corporal punishment and plain child abuse. Well, atleast I said it. Kicking and hitting is not corporal punishment, and corporal punishment is not violence. A quick swat on the hand, or the belt on the butt is a very effective way for some kids, not for others. In my case, it was good.
And if we're going back in any time, it'd be the fifties or the thirties when corporal punishment was in more use. Not the stone age. It's been around for thousands of years, and I don't see a problem with it.
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Post by Sword the Valiant on Oct 26, 2005 12:16:07 GMT -5
I think it is wrong. If god wanted us to kill each other he wouldn't have made us.
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Yogurt
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Post by Yogurt on Oct 26, 2005 19:30:00 GMT -5
Corporal Punishment isn't killing. It's spanking.
And we kill each other anyways, right?
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Post by Sword the Valiant on Oct 27, 2005 7:35:16 GMT -5
Because we do it doesn't make it right,
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bacon
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Post by bacon on Oct 27, 2005 15:57:17 GMT -5
Well, if we want to get religious, the term 'Spare the rod and spoil the child' comes from the Bible.
As Yogurt said, it's not killing. I see nothing wrong with a parent warming a kid's butt to let them know what is wrong and right.
There are other ways to do this, and of course they should be used. But, for some cases, such as blatent disrespect, I think a spanking would be the best choice for my child atleast.
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Post by Sword the Valiant on Oct 28, 2005 8:04:56 GMT -5
No, that's just abuse and I know from experience how that can mess someone up. Bacon do you know what it feels like to get hit?
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bacon
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Post by bacon on Oct 28, 2005 15:57:35 GMT -5
No, it's not because I have not been abused.
Corporal punishment and abuse are two entirely different entities.
You are thinking of abuse.
I am thinking of corporal punishment.
You are thinking of getting punched in the face for no apparent reason.
I am thinking of a swat on the butt when I do something wrong.
A spanking is not being hit and it's not violence nor is it abuse. They're two entirely different things. I have not been abused, I do not feel like I've been abused, yet my parents used corporal punishment many times on me. And it apparently worked.
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Post by Sword the Valiant on Oct 29, 2005 13:14:13 GMT -5
Hmmm...I guess.
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Post by minyaliel on Oct 29, 2005 17:51:13 GMT -5
Personally, I'd never dream of hitting anybody (well, except in an RpG). This is mainly because of religious issues; I'm a buddhist, and we're pacifists. So... yeah. But I must say I totally agree with Sword on this matter. It is far too easy to cross that "fine line" of yours once. And if you've done it once, it's easier to do that once more. And then you're into an evil circle. And that has absolutely nothing to do with love and compassion. Ask me about compassion. I've spent years learning it. And I can tell you compassion is not hitting or hurting another living being.
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bacon
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Post by bacon on Oct 29, 2005 18:03:44 GMT -5
If it is done out of love and compassion, that line won't be broken in the first place. Noone has any entertainment when spanking a child. Obviously compassion and love is not hitting or 'hurting' someone, but a smack on the butt brings absolutely no harm to a child, and it instills in them the proper respect that they need to give to authority and adults. I'm glad I was spanked, and I do know that it was done out of love, because if I hadn't been spanked, I would not be as nearly 'well-behaved' as I am now. It taught me to respect teachers, it taught me to respect my parents, and authority in general. I cannot be convinced that corporal punishment is evil, and I'm sure you can't be convinced that it does any good. But I'll leave it at this.
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